Holiday Blues
By Susanne Liebich
January 2026
Many of us look forward to the holidays as a time of family, friends, and joyful gatherings and all the rituals that make this time more special. As years pass, people move, friends and family members pass on, and the large and festive gathering can evolve to be smaller and more intimate, or non-existent. Sometimes, I find myself becoming nostalgic for those times. This year, I was grateful that both adult children and their partners came home for Christmas. I incorporated some of the rituals from their childhood Christmas.’ We had chocolate fondue with fruit for Christmas Eve dessert. Sam asked me to play the “medieval Christmas carols” that were a Christmas staple when he was a little boy. I took my family to see the Urban Nutcracker in Boston. It was important to make the holiday special because the stars may not align again for a while to have everyone come to Concord.
With all this focus on making the holidays special, I proceeded to make myself sick. My husband said, “too much nurturing caused your sickness.” I never felt outwardly stressed about the events around the holiday, and enjoyed every minute of each day, but I do think there was an inward expectation to try to make the holidays as magical as possible. I realize my family is simply happy to be together, and simple activities like taking walks and playing board games may be just enough.
The absence of family members and friends who have passed on can be particularly challenging emotionally, especially if they passed near or on the holiday. I feel strong emotions can yield pain, but it is important to express these losses. I recently visited a friend whose husband passed a few weeks ago. She said, “I think I’m going to be mush” and I said, “be mush!” Let the tears flow and the grief for the one you love to be a part of the celebration of life. Years ago, I was asked to do the eulogy for my wonderful uncle, who I became close to as an adult. I talked to the priest the night before and I could not even talk without crying. I said, “this is not okay.” The priest said, “let it I be a part of it; your sadness demonstrates how much you love him.”
I like to bring memories of these loved ones into the season to honor them and remind my family how fortunate they were to have them in our lives. I always make my Mother-in-Law Octavia’s Indian pudding for Thanksgiving, my mother Susan’s cherry torte for Christmas, and place the special stockings Octavia made under the fireplace hearth. I have Christmas ornaments honoring the Air Force which was my father’s branch of service, and ornaments going back 4 generations. It is a mishmash of family history, but it tells the story in a better way than a family tree or a memoir.
I hope that whatever holiday you celebrate, or not, you are able to find joy in the simple but lasting memories we hold near to our heart. As we find ways to bring beautiful memories into our celebrations, these memories will become a permanent fixture at our dinner tables honoring our loved ones and creating a larger palette of joy and gratitude.