Losing a Part of You
I mean literally….. I recently lost a part of me, my left hip. I decided to write about this as I take a six week break from all classes and have time to reflect on my decision to have the replacement as well as thoughts around healing. My journey started six years ago when I was walking down the street and felt immense pain in my left butt cheek (where the piriformis muscle sits.) I thought I must have strained it in my ballroom class, and treated it myself with gentle stretching. When it didn’t improve, I had an x-ray and was diagnosed with “severe arthritis”. Surgery was not on my radar at that point and I hoped for a treatment that would allow me to defer surgery for many years. I made an appointment with NE Baptist, a renowned orthopedic hospital. The surgeon, who barely glanced at me, looked at my x-ray and said “so you need a new hip! I can do the surgery within 2 months and you will probably need the other hip replaced within 18 months”. After hearing his assessment, “chop,chop!”, I ran for the hills. I made a conscious decision to defer surgery for as long as possible. I felt too young. Why was this happening? Decades of dance, forced turnout, jumps, hyper-flexible joints, genetics all factor in.
Years went by and the pain subsided as I focused on conditioning the hip muscles. I had a couple of flare-ups , but within a week or two I had the pain under control. The tipping point came two years ago when I was doing one of my daily COVID hikes. I realized the pain in my butt cheek (that nasty piriformis) was gripping and tightening, and I could not move fast; in fact, I had to slow down. The following month, a local orthopedist diagnosed my hip with “advanced arthritis”, bone on bone, no cartilage, and now bone spurs were developing as well. The surgeon said I checked all the boxes for a replacement, and I should consider the anterior (front of pelvis) surgery which provides for less cutting and a quicker recovery.
So the orthopedist research began…. And my hip limitations increased. I started to limp, and didn’t even notice it. At the end of a long class day, I was hobbling. A student told me last summer…”you’re limping”. I reduced my hike lengths because after 2 miles, I was in pain, even with ibuprofen. My hip flexibility had declined immensely. A little about the hip architecture…. The hip is an amazing and critical joint surrounded by important muscles- the hip flexors in front and inside of the leg which aid in bending (flexing) forward, the glutes on the side and back which help with motoring forward and extending the hip. Inside the pelvis and connected to the surrounding bones, there are “stabilizer” muscles like the piriformis that help to keep everything in place. All of these muscles were being strained.
It’s hard to imagine that this part of me was going to be replaced with a near-bionic implant made of a titanium shaft that fits into the femur (thighbone) with the ball on the end that is comprised of medical grade ceramic, and the cup of the acetabulum comprised of a polyethylene liner over a metal socket. It all sounds very futuristic and a little scary! But I had the surgery on December 1st using the superior method (from the outside of hip), and I have a 3” scar where the bionic hip was implanted. Two weeks later, with rest and PT, I am walking sometimes with a cane, sometimes without. As is my tendency, I push myself hard, and then I pay for it next day. Heal. That’s what my body is telling me. In fact, my body has told me all along what it needs. I waited as long as I could without completely compromising the other side of my body; the body was constricting and starting to lose alignment and once that happens, as I have told my students, balance is the next thing to go. How lucky are we that we can make these choices to improve our bodies so as we age, we can have better quality of life and more options! I am eternally grateful to my surgical team and PT for helping to put me on the healing path. In the meantime, I have a few months before the healing process is complete but this patient is learning to be patient.