Embracing Where You Are
A few weeks ago, students in my movement class were discussing this year’s fall foliage, and how it was predicted to last longer but be less vibrant. One of the students said, “kind of like us!”. We all had a good chuckle…after all, it’s good not to take oneself too seriously. Yet as I thought about the wide range of people that I teach every day, with more than 50 years between the youngest and the oldest, I realize that living life fully and with vibrancy is really a choice. As we age, we may find it difficult to accept the way our bodies are limited compared to what we could do twenty or thirty years earlier. Even though I enjoyed downhill skiing, I have chosen not to anymore, because if I damaged a knee or shoulder, I would not be able to work for several months. However, I can cross-country ski, snowshoe or hike, and I’ve accepted that these are great winter alternatives.
A ninety-year-old woman comes to two of my classes weekly with an aide in order to feel better, to maintain her stamina, and to continue to live a good quality of life. I can see that her aide has a wonderful relationship with her, almost like a daughter. She drives her to class, and then stays to assist with props and occasionally, an exercise. The student does as much as she can, which is quite a lot. She is a remarkable woman and seems to enjoy being the elder stateswoman in the class. Other people in the class recognize her and engage her in conversation. I can tell all of these students enjoy being in class together. Not only are they moving their bodies in a healthy way, but they are gaining motivation from others, and for the students in the studio (I also offer a zoom option), it’s become a social outing. Speaking of social events, I have several couples who come to exercise together in several of my classes. My take on this phenomenon is they are motivating each other to move plus spending time together maintaining their health. Yet they are also having fun; I am sure of it. I had one couple tell me a few weeks ago as they were preparing to enter the studio , “we wanted to talk to you about something”. I felt a little dread as they both looked serious. They looked at each other and giggled, “We have such a great time here! We really love coming to this class. It’s a highlight of our week!”
I teach a weekly Dance for Parkinson’s class to individuals with Parkinson’s ranging in age from middle aged to mid-80’s. Parkinson’s is a neurodegenerative disease and can make even activities of daily living very challenging. I am always in awe of their level of commitment and dedication to both showing up for class and executing the wide range of movements. The communal atmosphere of the class also provides a support group that augments the original purpose for the Dance for PD class, which is to explore all the possibilities of movement as opposed to the movements one can’t do. After all, what could be better than to move together with others in community?
One of my students, Katherine Esty, a psychologist who wrote a book about aging several years ago – “Eighty Somethings: A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well and Finding Unexpected Happiness” looks at the aging process from a different perspective. In conducting research for her book, she interviewed 128 people from different walks of life who, despite their ailments, were happy. There is something to be learned from this revelation; that we can find contentment and even joy at any stage of life. It may be a challenge to redirect our thought processes from reflection on who we were in the past to who we are now, but perhaps it’s worth considering.